I hate all girls vehemently.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
