I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize