To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
