she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
