i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
be right there i have to get my cape
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
