we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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