I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
