I'm eating all of the evidence.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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