it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
