too bad you live with your parents still
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
