Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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