This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
