i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
