He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
