nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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