I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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