Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
