The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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