The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize