hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
