So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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