just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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