He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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