this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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