My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm both gender and math confused
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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