i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
NoShamevember. You game?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
