2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this is an emotional support booty call
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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