Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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