There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
