i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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