We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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