mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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