Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize