I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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