is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
where am i from again
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
