i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This baby is an asshole
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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