So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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