it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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