laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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