that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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