No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
40s are totally the cure
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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