is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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