And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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