Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
