Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Found the puke drawer
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
