just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
