I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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