Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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