I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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