it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
