The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Less talking, more tequila
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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