At least make sure they are 18
Why
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
