i dedicated my morning wood to you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
