my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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