is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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