it wasn't lemon gatorade
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
