Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
