what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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