Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
