I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
