Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize