So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
