so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
